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  • 24 Sep 2020 4:19 AM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    My friends, 

    Today, I thought I would take the time to share my journey with you. I know that I am viewed as an impetuous youngster by some in our community. Some may think that I am new to this world and that I do not have the seasoning and conditioning to be the leader of, perhaps, one of the largest men’s Leather Clubs in the US. I am in fact a time-worn pragmatist with over a decade of experience in the community, teaching credentials, and an entire rolodex of contacts across the country, though I am not one to name drop. I have had my share of successes, and more than my share of failures and regrets. Hopefully, a more in-depth accounting will shed some light on who and what I am. 

    I was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico in April, 1985 and I lived in Albuquerque until I was 7 when my parents moved to a very rural area about 25 miles to the east of Albuquerque. I spent my entire early life in New Mexico and I did not travel widely. As a child, I was frequently bullied and tormented by other kids for who knows what reason, but it was a constant thing during my formative years. This bullying shaped my mind as enjoying being a victim and I gained some sense of pleasure that more Alpha kids were paying attention to me. I think that I started to like it, and I would goad the bullies into assaulting me as time went on so I could get that thrill. When kids play cops and robbers, some kids like to be cops, well I always liked to be the robber. Something about being restrained and put in a cage always appealed to me even before I knew what my dick was for. Later, when I started to enter puberty and those thoughts started to come with more frequency, I would tie myself up, usually with a belt or scarf. At first this was something I did privately but as time went on I found that I could get a greater thrill if I did it in a place that I might get caught. Sadly, I was never brave enough to put myself in a position where I was caught. But that fantasy drove my lust for the first several years of my burgeoning sexual appetites. I suppose, in retrospect, that I was attracted to men even as a boy, definitely in high school. I lusted after other guys, but I was quite repressed, and my only frames of reference on gay men where not positive. One of my great regrets is that I did not come out of the closet in high school when I started having those feelings, my life may have been so much different if I had. 

    I graduated High School in 2003 at the bottom of my class as a very content D- student. I went directly into the army and 26 weeks later I was discharged after failing Basic Training. I spent a few years in a stupor of drugs, addictions, and vices. My drug of choice was, and dangerously still is, pain killers. I got started on Ultrams in the Army and found a cheap source of them when I got out. I would spend weeks at a time in a hazy stupor, not facing the realities of life. I did not keep jobs for very long and I went through a string of heterosexual relationships during this time. I came out of the closet in November of 2004. I remember my first gay experience was with a guy that I met in an AOL chatroom late at night, I had never gone into a gay room before, but when I posted “19, m, nm, straight” and my chat EXPLODED; I did end up meeting with a guy who picked me up and took me to his place and I explored the first male body other than my own. I was so high at the time that I couldn’t tell you his name or what he looked like, but I do remember what it felt like sucking a dick for the first time, getting fucked for the first time. About a week later I met my first love, Clifton, and I moved in with him a few weeks later. We were together for about a year and during that time I put in the effort to get clean from pills. He was a Navajo and his family were traditional healers. I remember how sick the first sweat lodge that I attended with them made me and how the healers helped me clear myself of the influence of the drugs in my system. It was an amazing experience for me and I’ve never relapsed, even when I’ve really wanted to. 

    In mid-October, 2006 I went to a BDsM 101 class that was being taught by Julian Wolf, at an event in Albuquerque. I was curious so I went. It was not a very impressive class but I was intrigued by Julian, I can’t say what it was that drew me to them. They told me that they were in charge of a haunted house in a few weeks and asked me if I wanted to be involved so I said sure. At that haunted house I met people who went on to be some of my longest friends, Lee and Jeremy McK, as well as their children. That night, I met the second love of my life, Frida. Frida was, and is, a force of nature, she is MtF, but that never mattered to me. She was known in the kink community as Princess Frida and the moment that she laid eyes on me she claimed me from Julian and everyone else present. We met a few days later at a coffee shop and I told her that I was in a solid relationship and that I was not interested in cheating on Clifton. Twenty minutes later I was sucking her dick in her car and she brought out the rampaging beast of repressed sexuality that was dying to break free from inside me. She introduced me to levels of kink and depravity that I never imagined and the orgasms that I had when I was with her shattered my mind, better than any drug. I ended up cheating on Clifton for several weeks because I did not want to hurt him; but, as tends to happen, hurt him I did. When he found out it was a very bad break up and I had to destroy a piece of him to get him to let me go. I regret how I hurt him in the end, the things that I had to say to make him release his grip on me will resonate in my heart until the day I die. I hope that he found happiness and that he may someday forgive me for the transgressions I made and the hell I wrought upon him. 

    My first introduction to a gay bar was with Frida, she dressed me in a tight pink shirt and tiny short-shorts, blue as I recall, no underwear, she had me in a dog harness and cuffed my hands behind my back. We went to the bar known as Sidewinders in East Albuquerque on a Leather Night. I still recall that my dick was at full mast when she walked me into the bar, ostensibly against my will, and into the back bar area. The men who were present were filled with lust at the sight of me and I had a great time that night. I’ve only rarely since felt so attractive and desirable as I felt that night. Princess Frida, had a bad reputation, which I did not know at the time, that she would get a new toy, use them for a while, and then throw them away in favor of a new toy. A few weeks into our relationship, I slipped and said that I loved her and she did not talk to me for a few days. She eventually did come back and tell me that she loved me too. We went on to date for a few glorious years. During my time with her I was introduced to the greater leather community locally and nationally, we went to Thunder in the Mountains and Southwest Leather together for a few consecutive years, as well as a number of local Albuquerque events and clubs. We did end up breaking up eventually, as I recall, mutually a few years later. We are still close friends, we talk occasionally, and I cherish the years that we had in each other’s company. 

    In 2009, when I was 24, at an Albuquerque event called Spring Pandemonium, I taught my first class. The class was on Kitty Play and it was well attended. I went on to teach on pet play, masochism, and BDsM theory in the next year or so at a number of local level events in Albuquerque. I was also roped into being demo bottom for about a dozen classes and presentations. In the years since, I’ve taught classes all across the country from Seattle to St. Louis. In the past few years I’ve taken a step back from that due to my personal insecurities and anxieties. Most recently I taught a ‘Bratting from the Top’ class for Dallas NLA.  

    In summer 2009, on the brink of homelessness, I met longtime friends and companions Mike and Randy Coburn. They were members of a local men’s leather club called the New Mexico Leather Wolves. I got involved in the club through them and met Steve Weardon, Craig D., Tyler M., Mauro M., Ruben G., Major, and others. My mentor during the initiation process was Tyler M., I spent 6 months learning and growing under him, occasionally literally, and we developed a decent friendship. I became a full member of the Leather Wolves on a very cold December night in 2009. I remember that Steve flogged me in one of the most primal and cathartic scenes of my entire life, afterwards I was cut down and led outside, stark naked into the 20 degree Albuquerque night. I knelt and my colors were put on me for the first time, then ten men pissed on me, it was very warm and then VERY COLD. Less than a year later, the club folded when there was a schism over the opening number in a club variety show. The men who wanted “Somewhere over the Rainbow” to be the opening number stayed in the Leather Wolves, and the men who wanted “It’s Raining Men” to be the opening number broke off and formed what would later become the Albuquerque Leather Daddies. The Wolves, who I remained loyal to, were unable to stay afloat with the loss of a dozen or so members and the club collapsed. In 2010, I was invited to go to Chicago for IML where my mentor Tyler was competing, I declined due to money and a prior commitment. I was camping about two hours east of Albuquerque when I got a text message that Tyler had won IML, I thought that it was a bad joke at the time, but I packed up and drove to the city limits, close enough to get signal on my phone (this was before 4G access everywhere humans live), and saw that my friend had won the greatest title in all of Leather. It is a great regret that I was not there with him that weekend. 

    Late in 2009 I was invited by someone whom I had never met to join the board of a club that had not been invented yet. Sera Miles reached out to me to probe my interest and it turned out that it was just the sort of opportunity I needed. I joined the board of what would become New Mexico FetLifers, NMFL, alongside Britney V., Kimberly, Zhym, and Raven. I was the Policies and Procedures Coordinator of the Club and I wrote our Bylaws, basing them on the bylaws of other clubs across the nation. Over the next year or so, NMFL grew into the largest Leather, Kink, and BDsM umbrella organization that the state of New Mexico has seen before or since. We connected dozens of different clubs across the state under one unifying flag. Boasting well over 500 members at our height. We also produced our own event, Evolution of the Revolution (EvoRevo) for three years. The first year we headlined John Baku, founder of FetLife and Jay Wiseman. The second year we had Saskia Davies, Mama Vi, and Serene. The third year we went all out and headlined Guy Baldwin. 

    Over the five years from 2009 to 2014, we lost members from our board and found that while everyone wants to dress up, come to the parties, play, and screw; few are those who are actually willing to step up and take an active role in the day to day operations of the club. Five years in and no one was willing to run for an office to replace one of the four remaining members, or the open position. We ended up shuttering the club in 2014 and leaving a power vacuum in the New Mexico community that is still a sucking chest wound in that realm. Our feat may never be replicated, even though there are those who stepped up in the aftermath and tried to cut out swaths of territory for themselves. 

    During my time with NMFL, I met the third love of my life, Chance. He was at the First EvoRevo and at the second EvoRevo I asked him to marry me, he said yes. We got married right before EvoRevo 3. We were together for 7 years in total from early 2010 to early 2017. I loved him, and I still do, but just because you love someone does not mean that you are not bad for one another. I loved Chance in the same ways as I loved pills. He made me feel a sort of way when I was with him, I was addicted to the feeling that I got when I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, and I shared my dreams and desires with him. Our souls touched, but were, in the end incompatible. We separated and got a divorce. He has not spoken to me in three years now, I still miss him and I would take him back if I could, if only so I could get that spark of whatever it is that I get when I’m near him. I should have paid more attention to the zodiac when it said that a Taurus and an Aries would never be compatible. We split for exactly the reasons that the zodiac said that we would. 

    After I left NMFL, in 2014, I was asked to help form MAsT Albuquerque which I was happy to do, sitting as Member at Large on their board for a few years. In the end I left that group based on a misunderstanding or miscommunication that flew out of control and proportion, it threatened to split the club and it was the better option that I just leave. None of the people who are still in that club talk to me. I hope that Lady Golden, Lou, Dan, and all the rest are well. I wish them my best. 

    In January 2017, with my divorce, I moved to Denver, CO to get a fresh start. I’d never lived anywhere else. It was bumpy but I was in a new environment with new friends and experiences. I got involved with a few kink groups in Denver, procured a membership to the Denver Dangerous Theater, and went to quite a few events at the RACK Room, the adult play space owned by my friend Saskia, and I became very involved in Denver’s MAsT. I was pretty sad when I had to leave Denver behind, but it’s so expensive to live there. In the end I was working three jobs just to afford rent. I got a job with the TSA in Dallas and I moved.

    The rest is too recent to write here. I have too much potential to hurt feelings. Check back with me in ten years for how Dallas treated me when I arrived. I meant this to be a short writing about who I am and where I’ve been, but I just started flowing once I started. As always, if there’s something you want to see me write in the future. Please let me know. 

    All my best, 

    -Saint St.James

  • 01 Sep 2020 11:59 PM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    I’ve been stuck in a bit of a writer’s block these past few weeks, it’s been difficult for me to think about what to talk about this month. I had an interesting encounter online today that sparked up my mind though. A dom thought it would be a good idea to try to overwhelm me with his domlyness and render my simple little submissive mind inept under his spell. He was caught off guard and angry when it became apparent that I am not some weak minded himbo waiting for a “real man” to cow me into abject submission. To be clear, I like to play that way sometimes; I really enjoy being the nerdy boy who gets bullied into humiliating or embarrassing situations. I can also enjoy being the dumb jock boy who is manipulated by a more strategically intelligent guy. And, though these scenarios work in role play and fantasy; they are not who I actually am. Only a fool would look at me and my accomplishments and find it prudent to try to bull me to kowtow. 

    It seems like there is an overall feeling, especially in porn, that s-types are dumb beasts of burden, little better than self-heating fleshlights; and that D-types are cunning, intelligent, paragons of masculinity. In my experience, s-types can be the ones in control of a relationship, they simply out maneuver the D-type into believing that they are the ones making the decisions, I’ve had relationships like that. I’ve also seen relationships that work like the story books, where the D-type has a mastery of themselves to the point that they can take possession and control over another person, intellectually their equal, and manage both lives. I’ve been touched by these relationships, but I’ve only ever experienced it once, and then, not for very long. 

    I personally have a great issue with topping from the bottom, and to truly give up that control is very difficult for me. When I encounter D-types who I can believe could take that control and lord over me in the ways that I dream about, I usually recoil because that fear of giving up control is real and visceral. There is a local D-type, in this club in fact who holds such a sway over me. He’s attractive, boorish in all the right ways, smart, and He makes my guts jerk away from Him in pure terror when He looks at me in “that” way. I know that He would be able to crush the bratty and rebellious nature in my core and that knowledge is a cold shower for the part of my brain that does not really want to give up that control. I guess that this is a holdover from childhood though, before adolescence, I was never in a structured parent/child relationship that lent itself to discipline and support. I spent my weekdays with lawful and blue collar parents and my weekends with my lawless, biker father. I learned from a very early age to be a chameleon in order to best survive and to control every situation for maximum profit. I am a feral cat, raised by feral cats, themselves raised by feral cats; considering what I was given when I started, it’s amazing what I’ve made of myself. These may be weak excuses that I tell myself though. 

     In any event. For as long as coronavirus forces us to quarantine from one another, I will be unable to explore any sort of relationships outside my primary. I do so long to get my ass beat by a professional too. I hope that this message finds you all well. And, if you want to help me to break my writers block, or if you are curious about something: please let me know what you would like to see me write about in the future. 

    All my best, 

    -Saint St.James

    P.S. I know it's not August anymore, but I'm not going to let that technicality stop me from keeping to my obligations. ;-)

  • 14 Aug 2020 9:42 AM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    (Posted on behalf of Alan D., Chair, DC Virtual Events Committee)

    Do you miss the fact that you’re not in the dungeon with your club brothers and hot guests right now?  So do we!  So we thought we’d do what we can in the meantime.

    The virtual event committee is proud to announce we will have our first Zoom event next month (September).  The plan is to hold a monthly event on the Second Sunday of every month, the same day we would normally be at the dungeon (until we can get back together in person of course!).  The event will start at 2:00 pm and run for about an hour.  If you want to keep going, there will be a Discord server available to connect to after the main event wraps up.

    So what happens at a virtual event?  I’m glad you asked!

    • We’ll start out in a virtual room together for a presentation, event or game
    • We break out into smaller rooms that make it easier to interact for 10 minutes
    • Switch rooms a few times, get to socialize in small groups
    • And end up together in one room at the end!

    What kind of presentations might we see?
    • To kick things off in September, we’ll start with “Meet the Meat”, details soon :-)
    • Dungeon tours/Toybag tours
    • Kinky Art tours
    • Hot Demos and HowTo Sessions
    • Kinky games
    • And feel free to suggest more fun options! (Naked Chef - SemiNude Bacon Frying for Subs, anyone?)


    What are the rules/boundaries?

    • Well, Zoom terms of service limits nudity, so “No Poles Or Holes”
    • But there will be a Discord server available for connection afterwards without those restrictions
    • Limited to you and vetted guests in your house, must be male and 21+
    • No recording or photography or screen capture of the event or Discord
    • Be polite, follow video meeting etiquette, try not to talk over each other

    How do I register?

    • Through the club website.  We’ll send a link, but it will also be under Events in two weeks
    • You will need to log in to the website to see the event listed – it’s set to be visible only to members (reset your password now if you’ve forgotten it, you can do that from the login page)
    • The Zoom link will arrive a few days before the event

    Any Hints on Using Zoom?

    • When you log into Zoom on the day, PLEASE use a screen name we can recognize so the virtual door guard can identify you and let you in without delay
    • You definitely will have more fun with a video cam and not just audio dial in
    • And you will enjoy this more with the Zoom client instead of just their web version
    • If you need help getting Zoom set up, please email mal@disciplinecorps.com and they will put you in contact with someone on the tech committee who can help

    Thanks again to all that have helped.  Including but not limited to Matt, Josh, Keith, Christian, Jim for the Discord option, and me.

    Yours in leather,
    Alan Dudley
  • 20 Jul 2020 4:39 AM | Anonymous member (Administrator)

    (Posted on behalf of Saint St. James, President, Discipline Corps)

    I had a scare with COVID-19 this month.

    Is that a good way to start a story? Maybe not, but I have never been afraid of being transparent about who and what I am. A day before the July Quarterly Meeting, I developed a cough, congestion, and lost my senses of taste and smell. Right now, I work the midnight shift; so, I worked the night before the meeting, slept for two hours and then pushed my way through the meeting and then hit my pillow right after and I’ve worked every night since. On Tuesday, at the behest of many men who had my best interests at heart, I went and got tested at one of the drive up testing locations. On Friday, I found out that my test was NEGATIVE. It was both a relief and a let down, I want antibodies so I can stop being afraid. I want this to be over. I want things to be the way that they were before. Unfortunately, I don’t think that things will ever be like they were before. 

    I certainly had no idea that this was the situation that I would be taking on when I stepped up as president less than a year ago. It has been a year of great trials and scant rewards. I am thankful each and every month when I see that my friends, and friends with benefits, are still safe and well. I have not been to a play party since EdC so trust me when I say, I’m feeling it. I miss getting beaten, and I miss beating on others. In fact, at SPLF, I turned down the chance to get flogged by an old friend who has flogged me in the past and who is considered world class with a flogger. At the time I told Him that I was not sure how it would alter my emotional state. I regret not playing with him, because no one has played with me since, and I really need a good calibration right about now. I hope, HOPE, that we will all be able to play in October. 

    I am very pleased with the direction of the club this year over all. I appreciate that the EC is made of many people with varied interests, backgrounds, and orientations. I am a delegator and being surrounded by competent people who know their own limits is very helpful. I was sad to learn that two people will be stepping down from the EC this year, both of them have made excellent additions to the EC. More on that next month though. ;-)

    I have decided to submit at least one new post to this blog every month for the next year. What do you want to see me write about? I can always just provide a rambling narrative like this one every month, but I’d love to be interesting too. Please let me know what you want to see me writing about. 

    As always, All my best to you and yours, 

    -Saint St.James, President D.C.

    20 July 2020


  • 23 Jan 2018 1:03 PM | Anonymous member

    Mark your calendars now and plan to attend our traditional Spring Camp Out in central Texas April 27 thru 29.

    In March you will be able to click on "Events" and register!

  • 13 Aug 2017 8:46 PM | Anonymous member

    It's hard to believe that Fall Camp is just around the corner, Oct 27-29.  It's always a bit nippy in the fall, but that's just the puppies.  Click on the "Events" to register!

  • 08 Oct 2015 8:34 PM | Anonymous member

    It's hard to believe that Fall Camp is just around the corner, Oct 23-25.  It's always a bit nippy in the fall, but that's just the puppies.  Click on the "Events" to register!

     

     

  • 27 Apr 2014 9:08 PM | Anonymous
    24 guys... a clothing optional campground... great food... and camaraderie as only leathermen can do it.

    Roughing it DC Style... Saturday dinner in the woods.Nope.. it's not the opening line to a joke.. it's a description of the incredible time shared by 25 members and guests this past weekend.  Gorgeous weather, to a soundtrack of wind and birds... heck, one member even reported a very friendly raccoon peering in at him through the window of his tent.

    Thanks to Michael D., our Run Captain, who pulled this incredible weekend off, and to member Peter R., who did an AWESOME job of making sure our tummies were well fed for the entire weekend so we could turn our attention to making sure our fantasies of play in the woods were well fed. (Yes, that really IS grilled to order sirloin... not to be confused with the Sirs' loins that may or may not have been feasted on earlier in the day.)

    Most of all... thanks to the guys who came out and joined us for this great experience.  If you'd like to join us for the next camp-out in October, keep an eye on the Camp DC page under the Events category (or just sign up for notifications of all of our events here).  It should be updated shortly, if it hasn't been already!
  • 15 Mar 2014 11:51 PM | Anonymous
    Another Esprit de Corps weekend come and gone.  An incredible weekend of kink and camaraderie with more hot guys than you can swing a prison strap at. Every year we think it can't get bigger.. it can't get better.  And every year, the men who show up prove us wrong.

    To all of you who came to celebrate this weekend with us... to those who played... to those who helped us pull off the logistics, and most importantly, to those who contributed their energy... We thank you!

    Discipline Corps, like the rest of the Dallas Kink Community is very fortunate to have access to great venues for our events.  Sanctuary, the Dallas Eagle, Bridge Bistro.  We have great members who are willing (or at least whose arms we can twist) to pitch in to pull EdC together. In the end, though, it's the passion and the energy of all the men who show up both return visitors and newbies, each year, to play that makes the weekend so incredible!

    We hope to see each and every one of you back next year at our annual celebration of brotherhood and play.  Oh, if you didn't make it this year, next year's dates are March 06-08. Put it on your calendar now so you don't miss out on the fun!)

    If you'd like to receive periodic announcements about DC events, you can subscribe here.
  • 12 Feb 2014 10:49 AM | Anonymous

    If you're not registered by now, you've missed out on the discount for Early Registration, but there's still plenty of tim to register for the event.  Why not head over to the Esprit de Corps page now and sign up?  


    In addition to many repeat guests from all over the country, we're seeing a lot of interest from guys who'll be here for the first time, all looking to get their kink on and enjoy a weekend of intense play.


    This year's EdC will feature:
    • Four PLAY PARTIES (2 on Saturday)
    • Our annual cocktails and dinner at Bridge Bistro
    • Bar Night at the Dallas Eagle
    • Pup Mosh
    It's an event you don't want to miss, so why not hop on over to the Esprit de Corps website and register now!

    We look forward to seeing you there!
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